Tipped

Do no talk to anyone on the tube ... its illegal!

Don't even look at people on the tube. In fact try not to look at anyone ever.

You mustn't stand on the left hand side of escalators, only *ever* on the right, unless you want people to give you a hard time/hate you.

Ok - Pipis is right and its one of the most important pieces of London etiquette, unless you're actually walking up or down the escalator you must always stay on the right hand side. Also if your oyster card doesn't work after the second try then get out of everyone else's way - in fact the full set of Tube rules are here http://solo2.abac.com/themole//tuberules.html

Um other things to remember - never tip for drinks and only tip if the service is good for food.

Learn the bus routes, its usually better / quicker than the tube.

Learn to walk about as its usually better / quicker than the tube / bus / taxi (obviously not long distance)

While auto traffic is on the other side, walking is complete chaos. Also, never make room for someone else on the sidewalk (pavement / foot path) when space is limited: 1) they won't do it for you, 2) they won't notice or appreciate when you do it for them, and 3) it will slowly drive you crazy. I speak from experience.

When someone says "You alright?" and looks at you like you have a terminal illness, this is just their way of saying "How's it going?"

When in doubt, eat cheese.

These were a joy to read... something else I learned this weekend...

(X) When traveling, be on your toes! Routes will change and construction is always an obstruction!

Haha, you're hilarious Andy.

Getting used to no electric plugs in the bathrooms. I have to use an extention cord so I can blow dry my hair in front of my bathroom mirror.

Andy, you are hilarious and it's sooo true.

Yeah Amy, I noticed the no plugs in the bathroom thing. How annoying. Maybe we should get wireless hair dryers... if there are such things.

Another thing I thought of yesterday is that the button on the door of the tube that says open or whatever doesn't actually work - the guy at the front of the train controls the doors not you - only tourists press the button!

A tip about buses:

In my experience, the crazies, the annoying and the chronic drunks either sit downstairs en masse, or at the very front and very back of the top deck. If you're *not* mental, somewhere in between is your best bet.

Charles O - I loved the tube rules site! :)

Actually, there are some locals who press the button to open doors on the tube. These are the same impatient morons that repeatedly press the door close button on lifts and the walk button at road crossings. But then on the DLR the door button does work, so you have to keep your wits about you.

The two best seats in London are the very front of the top deck of a bus and the front of the DLR. If you're a fan like me, join the excellent Facebook group "People who like to sit at the front of the DLR and pretend they're driving" http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2217635199

Yeah, I've stood like a dumbass a bunch of times on the DLR just looking at the door waiting for it to open - and yeah the front seats are golden, I've ridden all the way to Beckton a bunch of times just because its like being on a roller coaster.